I’ve been in the self love and empowerment space for several years now. That means I’ve spend a lot of time working with women to help them reconnect with themselves and tap into their own self appreciation.

However, the flipside of this is that I was once in a place where I struggled with my own self worth and couldn’t see my value.

I have made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I’m proud to say I’ve learned from them and I always come back stronger, with a deeper understanding of myself.

Do you think me sharing my own journey of failing at self love will help you avoid some of the same mistakes? Let’s give it a try. Grab your favorite drink, get cozy, and let’s get into the first time I failed at loving myself.

The Set Up: A Journey to Self Appreciation and Reconnecting with Myself

Let me set the scene for you: the year was 2015, and I had just started to really shift gears and focus on boudoir photography. This day was significant because I was about to have my first photoshoot for ME, and it was one of those milestone moments. But despite being excited, I wasn’t ready for it because I was still holding onto the belief that I wasn’t enough.

Little did I know, that experience would become the catalyst for my journey towards self appreciation. Because this was one of my first experiences in front of the camera, I had a lot of doubts. Spoiler alert: I let my inner critic take over, and I didn’t fully embrace who I was. Pssst, do you want more stories about my personal journey of self appreciation? Download my free guide to discover the steps I took to finally start loving myself more deeply and not feeling guilty about it. Click here to download the guide now!

#1. I Was Still Listening to My Inner Critic

When you look at how I failed at loving myself, you could easily think the reason was due to external circumstances – like how I felt awkward in front of the camera or how the shoot didn’t go as planned. In reality, there were several things I was doing that led to me not appreciating myeslf in that moment.

#1. I was letting my inner critic control my thoughts and actions. Growing up, I never really figured out how to silence my inner voice of doubt. Instead, I was constantly telling myself to be “better,” “stronger,” and “perfect.” This led me to believe that I had to meet impossible standards.

My friend, Tena has a totally different approach to practicing self appreciation. Check it out here for some inspiration.

The Solution: Instead of listening to my inner critic, I started to practice self compassion and self appreciation daily. I became intentional about embracing my flaws and loving myself as I was, without the need to be “perfect.” This led to me feeling more confident in myself, and ultimately more successful in my career.

Remember, if you’ve been allowing self criticism to hold you back from truly appreciating yourself, you may be missing out on the peace and confidence that comes from being kind to yourself.

#2. A Lack of Self Acceptance

At the time, I was still very new to my journey in boudoir photography, and I hadn’t fully developed the tools for self acceptance yet. I didn’t trust myself enough to love myself.

This lack of self acceptance meant that every step I took felt uncertain, and I held myself back from fully stepping into my power.

The Solution: I worked on building my self acceptance through prayer, meditation, affirmations, and surrounding myself with people who supported my growth. I started to understand that to love myself truly, I had to accept all parts of me – the good, the bad, and the messy. A little introduction to practicing self acceptance can be found here.

Forgetting My Worth

It’s easy to look back at this moment and think that my lack of self love was just a phase, but at the time, I genuinely believed I wasn’t worthy of love, especially the love I had for others.

At that time, I thought that love and appreciation should come from external sources, not from within.

The Solution: Changing my mindset was the key to my breakthrough. I stopped looking for validation from others and began to appreciate myself from within. This change led to a deeper sense of fulfillment, both in my personal life and in my work. You can check out this post to learn more about how I started valuing myself more.

Perseverance to Self Appreciation Pays Off

I wish I could say that I never struggled with loving myself. But I can’t say that because failure is a natural part of life – it’s how we grow, how we find our true selves, and how we discover our worth.

However, I never failed again once I stopped letting self doubt dictate my worth. I have now made it my mission to teach others how to practice self appreciation and reconnect with themselves.

Here at Photography by Amber Carl, we live and breathe self appreciation because it brings me so much joy and fulfillment. Clients have said, “Amber has helped me reconnect with my true self and start loving myself more deeply than ever before.” and “Working with Amber has been a game changer in how I view myself and my body. She truly made me see myself in a new light.”

Over on Facebook, my community has been sharing their stories of transformation and self appreciation, and I want you to be part of it.

Want to learn more about how to love yourself more deeply? Download my free self care workbook today!

Got a question about starting your own journey of self love? Get in touch today so I can answer any questions you may have.