For years now we’ve been hearing that one of the best ways to prepare for your boudoir session is by following a strict beauty routine is the best, maybe even the ONLY way to feel amazing during your boudoir session. I just read another post with the same message selling the same pitch. And since everyone seems to be saying it, it must be true. Right?

Uhh…no.

I think most of this advice is coming from a place of good intentions. But it’s easy advice. And not only does one specific method or strategy not work for everyone, following a rigid beauty routine before your session definitely isn’t the best option out there.

Also, how do you know that the “experts” are following their own advice? Or that they’re getting great results from that strict prep?

It seems to me that you can spend a lot of time feeling frustrated or like a failure because the typical beauty regimen before a boudoir session isn’t working for you when you’re not the problem!

I know because back when I was starting boudoir photography I tried to follow all the traditional “beauty prep” advice and I just didn’t get great results.

In fact, I felt exhausted and overwhelmed trying to keep up with unrealistic beauty standards. I spent way too much time thinking I had to get perfect skin or nails before showing up, and I didn’t feel like myself at all.

I also didn’t feel like I was being authentic when I followed all these “rules.” And believe me, your boudoir photographer can tell when you’re not being authentic.

Always remember: you’re already beautiful as you are, and your confidence will shine the brightest when you embrace your natural self.

What’s Not So Great About Prepping For Your Boudoir Session The “Traditional” Way

Here’s the thing. Traditional beauty prep isn’t a good idea because:

• It sets you up for frustration. Trying to follow all those steps can leave you feeling stressed or like you’re falling short.
• It isn’t authentic. Boudoir is about showing who you truly are, not who you think you should be.
• You might get the opposite result from the one you want – feeling less confident, not more.
• Things have changed. What worked years ago, like focusing on hair and makeup perfection, doesn’t necessarily resonate with today’s body positivity movement or the reality of how women feel about themselves.

A Better Way To Prepare For Your Boudoir Session

So how should you prepare for your boudoir session? Fortunately, there’s a better way. Instead of stressing over traditional beauty prep, something else.

Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing something that feels authentically you and is also crazy effective at helping you feel confident in front of the camera? Well, now you can. And it doesn’t have to be confusing or overwhelming.

Step #1: Get Super Clear About Your Confidence Goals

I got clear about my ultimate goals: to feel beautiful and authentic in my own skin and to enjoy the boudoir experience without getting lost in the details.

This step is key. You can’t feel confident until you stop worrying about perfection and start focusing on how YOU want to feel.

Skipping this step? You’ll miss out on feeling fully empowered and ready for the experience.

Step #2: Embrace Your Natural Beauty

I spent time thinking about what made me feel beautiful naturally, and how I could use that to create the best boudoir experience possible.

I also started talking to my clients about embracing their beauty without overprepping.

For example:

• Hair and makeup are a great touch, but they don’t define your beauty.
• What matters most is how you feel about yourself in the moment.

Many studies show that people tend to feel most confident when they embrace their natural look, rather than trying to “fix” things.

Step #3: Make It About Self Love, Not Perfection

After listening to my clients and watching them embrace their natural beauty, I realized something – confidence comes from within, not from following a specific beauty checklist.

Here’s how you can boost your confidence:

• Habit #1: Embrace self love practices, such as affirmations or journaling about your beauty.
• Habit #2: Focus on what makes YOU feel good – comfortable lingerie, the perfect music playlist, or the right setting.
• Habit #3: Let go of unrealistic expectations. Your boudoir session isn’t about being perfect; it’s about feeling amazing as you are.

Next Steps

To recap, clear your mind of traditional beauty prep that only adds stress and focus on what makes YOU feel beautiful.

Check out some of my other boudoir prep posts and keep challenging yourself to embrace self love instead of stressing over beauty standards.

Current wisdom can often be a fad that doesn’t help you reach your goals. The good news is, you can absolutely feel amazing in a way that feels authentic to you. You just need to embrace the right mindset – and a little self love.

If you want more help here, check out my Boudoir Guide to help you prepare for your boudoir session in a way that feels empowering and true to yourself. Questions? Comments? Drop them below. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

And if you’d like to learn more about putting yourself first without feeling guilty check out this blog post and let me know what you think:

A Transformational Experience: How Do I Know If I’m Ready?

P.S. Did you know that I host transformative women’s retreats? I also have one couples retreat available with one spot left! To learn all about my upcoming retreats go here and feel free to reach out if you have any questions.